


Cigarette

by etheruial



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, My heart hurts writing this, i hope yanjun fix his assholeness in the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 03:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14844998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etheruial/pseuds/etheruial
Summary: you zhangjing just wanted to wipe lin yanjun off his mind.





	Cigarette

**Author's Note:**

> to my lesbian parents, this is for you

you zhangjing is on his seventh cigarette.

his friends was fairly shocked when they knew zhangjing smoked. his face is way too innocent, showing smiles and laughs way too often, that no one really know why he did it. he did it for almost two years now; but him being a good boy and caring for his health, he only did it occasionally. probably just two or three sticks per three months, and that’s when things go really bad in his life.

(xukun scolded him for an hour straight when he knew what zhangjing has been doing. chaoze tried stopping him before in their old company, but he gave up when nothing really changed. he just reminds the older to take a lot of ginseng and soothing throat meds daily.)

but in this past week he already downed three boxes, going for the fourth.

zhangjing knew he shouldn’t be smoking, being the main vocal in nine percent and all. that’s why he snuck out, alone, every time he needed a breather. he knew the fans wouldn’t like it and his fellow members also reminded him constantly to stop, especially a certain someone who took care of himself the most.

lin yanjun.

the person who declared would be his best friend until the end of this journey. the person who sleeps beside him every night in the dorm, even though they have different room arrangements. the person who always teases him about his chubby tummy but also took him out for lunch the most. the person who took his first kiss. the person he want to cherish, hug, and love forever.

he took a deep drag, inhaling the poison slowly. _lin yanjun._

zhangjing’s ultimate favorite place to smoke is at nine percent’s dorm’s roof. the back part is more secluded, away from paparazzi, and he can quickly shower whenever he finished his stick of the day, because he knows if zhengting finds out, he’ll get another earful from the younger.

after they upgraded their bunk beds to single ones, the old ones were given away, but chengcheng sneakily brought one up to the roof (don’t ask why, even the rest of them are questioning on how he did it). now the bunk bed stays there, and the members love to use it every now and then. they once had a sleepover on that thing, but xukun, ziyi and nongnong didn’t fit (also don’t ask why how six grown men managed to fit into the bunk beds. it was a miracle) so they went to sleep in the actual dorm.

it was a very nice little space to have, too. zhangjing was always lost in time every time he went there. if he smoked too much, he would sleep for a while, enough to stop the slight pounding on his head. and if he took too long, usually the one who got him is yanjun.

that name again. _lin yanjun._

zhangjing swore he had become crazy over that tall dork. every time someone mentioned his name, he would unconsciously smile. justin caught him doing that several times already. every time yanjun smiles, his deep dimples would show, and zhangjing could feel his focus is only on those little dips on his cheeks. he felt this little urge to poke them, pinching yanjun's cheeks in addition.

every time they hug, zhangjing would held yanjun in his arms a couple seconds longer.

and he didn’t know if he imagined this or anything, but he could feel yanjun did the same.

lighting up his eighth, zhangjing reminisced what he had with his so-called best friend. he remembered one time they had a sleepover, and yanjun _really_ had to put a flimsy tank top on. well, they _are_ best friends, and there's nothing wrong with guys wearing tank tops, alright? but that night, zhangjing held back with all of his might because he knew, he’d go and kiss that bare shoulders of his if he didn’t, and that could go wrong in so many levels.

zhangjing loved yanjun’s scent. the younger always has this lingering, soft, masculine but at the same time very baby-like aroma to him, and zhangjing could never get enough of that smell. burying his head into yanjun’s chest while hugging him is one of his favorite thing in the world, no, universe. it’s just very intoxicating, warming, engulfing him to a bear hug every time he took a whiff of it. if he could he’d want to keep yanjun all to himself, cuddling with him all the time.

zhangjing reached his phone, opening his spotify playlist. he scrolled past countless songs he had downloaded and put in his ‘to heartbreaks that hasn’t even happened yet’, and chose little do you know by alex and sierra.

(zhangjing seriously thought that the playlist name should be changed, since he thought, maybe he’s starting to jinx himself.)

he took a deep inhale. _fuck, i’m seriously hooked_ , he thought.

he blamed lin chaoze and lu dinghao for his uncontrollable feelings. remember when he said yanjun was his first kiss? it was their fault.

that one night, yanjun chose dare, which is a very wrong choice seeing how evil chaoze and dinghao’s face looked afterwards. “you’re sure about this, right?” chaoze smirked, “then we dare you to kiss zhangjing.”

the mentioned boy could feel his heart jumped up to his throat. is chaoze stupid? is he trying to betray him or something? he trusted the tanned dancer; and now, he don’t think he could anymore.

zhangjing let out a string of protests, secretly scooting a little further from yanjun, trying to make cackling dinghao and cheering chaoze to take back the dare and do something more… _friendly_. all while yanjun just stared at the other three silently. seriously, sometimes zhangjing regrets being friends with these crackheads. he couldn’t even look up to face yanjun, but then said man spoke up.

“just a kiss, right?”

and dived in forward, crashing his lips with zhangjing’s, while the latter froze in shock.

to say the kiss is brief not entirely wrong, but not correct either. zhangjing was so surprised at yanjun’s forwardness that he tried to shove him away, but the taller man had his hands on zhangjing’s shoulder pretty tightly. yanjun’s lips felt slightly chapped, but still had some plump to it. zhangjing secretly liked the way their lips mold against each other, and wouldn't mind another one.

actually, zhangjing couldn’t remember what exactly happened. he didn’t even remember if he closed his eyes.

but he did remember the feeling of regret after pushing yanjun, breaking their seemingly very short lips to lips session. the other two crackheads were just cheering and hollering the whole time, that zhangjing felt the need for them to just kiss themselves and shut up.

zhangjing spent the rest of the game hiding behind a pillow.

breaking away from the flashback, zhangjing smiled bitterly, lighting up the next cigarette. for a moment that day, he felt that maybe, just maybe, lin yanjun liked him back.

because the night before, they cuddled up next to each other, under the covers. it was even _yanjun_ who dragged zhangjing under the blankets, it was _yanjun_ who pulled zhangjing by the waist, it was _yanjun_ who returned zhangjing’s hesitant cheek kiss. yanjun was actually doing those things, and zhangjing was more than thrilled to receive it.

he felt like he could finally hug yanjun all to himself. he could feel yanjun’s warmth underneath the covers, and he was almost drunk from smelling yanjun’s scent. he almost spazzed out when he pecked yanjun’s cheek – even more after yanjun also kissed his.

but yanjun is one indecisive little shit.

throughout the whole night, yanjun got out from the covers countless times, talking to chaoze and dinghao, leaving zhangjing alone. and when he got back to zhangjing, he wouldn’t let the smaller get too close.

what the fuck?

zhangjing decided to turn off his music, since it’s getting more depressing, and laid down on the top bunk bed. he had finished his tenth and last cigarette, stepping on the butt before kicking it away. now he’s quite dizzy from all the nicotine he had taken in.

he misses yanjun.

even though that little brat gives mixed signals all the time, is very indecisive, sometimes too needy, a lot of times too possessive, zhangjing still gets butterflies – maybe more like eagles – whenever yanjun is in the picture. zhangjing tried really hard, really, to move on. he even asked one of his friends (who is a very handsome man, known as the gaynation’s crush) out on a date, but it’s useless. everytime he tried to do it, yanjun just-

“hey, zhangjing? are you up there?”

-see? he kept showing up, tugging on zhangjing’s heartstrings, not letting it go. zhangjing sighed, feeling his throbbing head calmed down. instead, his heart beats a little bit faster than before.

“yeah. i’ll go down soon.”

 

 


End file.
